Fucking Chainletters
I got another chainletter from Iia, I got a laugh out of replying to her so I thought I'd share my response.Hiya Iia.
…although I should probably start calling you 'Clare' again, since I'm not your friend anymore because I technically didn't send the chainletter back to you.
“If i don't get this back i guess your not my friend”
So, I guess Scott’s Head is out then…since I’m not your friend anymore.
“You'll fight with your best friend.”
So it’s not good enough that we’re not gonna be friends anymore we have to fight as well? Ah well, I guess if that’s the case: “Stupid bitch!”
“…take too many pictures.”
Erm, HELLO! If you are gonna send along shit that preaches something then you should AT LEAST PRACTICE IT! If you want people to take too many photos then bloody let them! Don’t complain every time someone holds a camera up with a “please smile for the camera” look on there face.
“…every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back”
Well, considering there is approximately 2680560000 seconds of my life left (provided I don’t die young) that means I have 44676000 minutes with which to be happy or be sad. I’m sure it’ll make no never-mind whether I’m happy through them all or not. & if I was happy for the rest of my 44676000 minutes then it’ll get pretty boring, not to mention annoying to those around me, I’m sure eternal happiness is not all it’s cracked up to be. & again we reach the ‘practice what you preach’, I’ve often seen you less then happy, now, isn’t that a waste of possible happy moments?
“So send this to all of your friends in the next 5 minutes and a miracle will happen tonight.”
So, what was your miracle? Was it a self-inflicted forehead slap?
“…Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when you hang up on him; who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats; who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, ‘...that's her.’”
OMG! It’s so simple! Why didn’t I think of that? It sounds so easy to just go out there & do that! Makes you wanna jump into some good clothes & rush off right now!
“If u open this you HAVE to repost it, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life!”
So, I have to be happy for the rest of my 44676000 minutes but you’re going to promise me 44676000 minutes of bad luck if I don’t forward a simple chainletter. But you’re okay right, since you sent it to 18 people. Well, technically only 17, since I noticed my old loyx_@hotmail.com address in there, which has long been out of service.
“…if you have a lot of love for someone…copy and send this to your whole list and in five mins your true love will call or message you.”
What if I don’t love someone? Will I still get a call/message? Did you get a call/message? Who was it? What did they say? Did they profess there undying love for you? Are you engaged? When’s the marriage? What will your children be named? Can I be the godmother? Oh, wait, we’re fighting & we’re not friends anymore, so don’t worry about that, I’ll just skip the godmother thing.
“You have just been DEATHWISHED.”
Ooooh! ScArY! Since when did you start sending deathwishes? Is it going to be particularly gruesome & potentially dangerous for innocent civilians?
“Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you.”
What if I don’t have a true love? Is this the same guy from earlier? Did your true love realise he likes you? Are you going to have an affair? Is one of your kids from your lover? Does your husband know this or does he just think that that kid takes after some cousin’s aunt’s sister-once-removed?
“Something good will happen to you at approx. 1:42pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere.”
If it’s going to happen anywhere then what’s the use? Shouldn’t it happen where you are, not just anywhere? If it’s something that’s for you, then it shouldn’t be too much to ask to have it happen where you are. It’s only 12:57pm, so you have 45 minutes left until this ‘something good’ happens. Do give me a call & let me know what it is. Ah, but we’re fighting & we’re not friends anymore, so you probably won’t do that.
“So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.”
If you are suggesting that something good happening is the biggest shock of your life then I think it’s you who needs the 44676000 minutes of happiness, not me.
“If you break this chain, you will be cursed with relationship problems for the most important time of your life.”
What’s the most important part of my life? & why do I need to be worried about relationships anyway? Are you saying that my life up to now hasn’t been important? Yea, you would! Wouldn’t you! ‘Cause we’re not friends anymore & we’re fighting.
“Send this to 15 people in 15 minutes to carry on the chain...and spare yourself the emotional stress.”
Oh woe is me & my emotional stress!
On that note, I’ll leave you with it!
Ciao!
~JosCaiL~
P.S. You have cookie now.
posted by Joscail at
10/25/2005 01:30:00 PM
0 comment(s):
Post a comment
<< Home